“Weirdest news of the week? That Lars Von Trier’s much-talked-about-at-Cannes horror film Antichrist is receiving a video-game adaptation. How utterly bizarre.”

“Perhaps it’s not handsome, but there’s a weird sort of gratification when you read an article or review that agrees with something you’re already thinking. Such as Jason Anderson’s review in Eye of Away We Go, where he notes that ‘Even the least discerning and most pliant indie hipsters may have cringed at the poster for Away We Go. That cutesy, post-Juno graphic-design cocktail of photo, illustration and hand-drawn type was more than enough to indicate the movie’s target demographic even if star John Krasinski wasn’t pictured looking like a guy who sells merch at a Fleet Foxes show.’”

“This year’s blockbuster season seems to have dragged on interminably already, but it’s finally starting to look (tee hee) up, with the long-awaited release of Pixar’s latest, Up, today. Their first in 3D, we’ve wondered if they’ve chosen such a vertically minded project because the form of 3D projection used tends to look better when things are moving up and down rather than horizontally; not that that would make that much difference to the quality of the film.”

“It’s Terminator Salvation week! This year’s franchise reboot that we were most looking forward to (we’ve always just liked Terminator more than Star Trek), though when we say “looking forward to” we mean “trepidatious about any new film directed by that glossy hack, McG.” (Seriously—who calls themselves “McG”? And then expects people to call him that even when they know him personally, as heard in that famous Christian Bale tape?)”

“This week most of the cinematic excitement is kept for Cannes—after all, those lucky sods have already been able to see Pixar’s latest film, Up!—so there’s not very much that is likely to excite us otherwise (apart from the Inside Out festival, of course, as covered by our own Johnnie Walker).”

“Seems like the only release anyone cares about this week is the J.J. Abrams Star Trek reboot, a release notable simply for the number of people we know that have come out of the woodwork as massive Trekkies—possibly feeling that now it’s safe, as with a hot young cast (including the brilliant Simon Pegg, pictured above playing Scotty as a tramp) it may now finally be “cool” to like Star Trek. Or so they can be prepared to yell about how terrible the new film is for featuring a hot young cast. One or the other, probably.”

“This week’s most eagerly hyped is X-Men Origins: Wolverine, which has famously been available as an illegal download for ages. So we could have seen it, if we weren’t completely uninterested in the idea of watching a work print of a film on our laptop… or really just the idea of a Wolverine film in general (though having said that, we do look forward to seeing how Ryan Reynolds manages as Deadpool).”

I’ve also begun coverage of Hot Docs on Torontoist this week.

“For most cinephiles not still captivated by the Toronto Jewish Film Festival, this week will simply serve as preparation for Hot Docs—NOW, in fact, used its movie section feature as an vague attempt to help you plan—but if you really can’t wait to see a documentary there’s always earth, the first film from Disney’s new, stomach-turning ‘Disneynature’ brand.”

My title is a reference to Harry Hill.

“It’s a strong week for festivals, as while the ReelWorld Film Festival closes this Sunday with closing night gala Aloo Chaat (6:30 p.m., Scotiabank Theatre), both the Sprockets Film Festival and Toronto Jewish Film Festival open this Saturday.”

Mostly coverage of upcoming film festivals this week.

“Sometimes in life things happen and there isn’t a clear lesson to learn. Perhaps you’ll find yourself absolutely destroyed by a case of the flu for a couple of weeks and think [I should have had a flu shot] is the lesson, and then you’ll remember that you were on the other side of the country when you became sick, so the flu shot probably wouldn’t have helped. But because you’re human, and we humans like patterns, you’ll probably come up with something else—be it stress or not eating your vitamins—to blame, ‘learn from,’ and feel satisfied.”

If you can’t tell, I’ve had a horrible case of the flu for the past couple of weeks (since GDC, in fact.)