Army of Two / The Globe and Mail
“Let’s admit it: last year we were incredibly spoiled when it came to good writing in games.
Ken Levine and his team at 2K came along and blew us away by using objectivist philosophy to craft a true work of “interactive fiction” with Bioshock at a point where we were still wondering if it was even possible, and then a small team at Valve introduced Portal, which showed us that sometimes, simply writing clever, funny dialogue was enough (and revealed to us how few games until that point could even boast that).
As a result, we’ve probably got a bit cocky about the state of game writing. But as we all know, pride comes before a fall. And that fall is Army of Two.”
This must be the article with the most juvenile title on The Globe and Mail ever, surely!
Other than that, this review just recounts my painful disappointment with Army of Two. I’ve been paying attention to the title since I spoke to Alain Tascan (I actually called it “one to watch out for” at the time) and the missed opportunity here is almost heart breaking.
I think the saddest think is that a sequel will probably be produced, and will probably go some way to fix the game design problems, but will be unable to “retcon” all of the horrible, horrible writing from the first game out of existence.
“This week I watched as Mario, without mercy, beat Princess Peach around the head, body, and legs with a baseball bat until she could barely grip onto the edge of a dangerous precipice in the Mushroom Kingdom. The second she started to climb her way back up, without a moment’s hesitation, he whacked her so hard in the face that she flew off into oblivion.
“Let it never be said that the world of downloadable content is boring! Since October’s launch of import games on the Wii’s Virtual Console service it feels like the landscape has been constantly shifting: in November Sony opened an online PlayStation Store for PSP owners who don’t own a PS3 (er, most of them) and December’s Xbox 360 Dashboard update includes the ability to download a range of classic titles from the Xbox back catalogue (including the original Halo and cult hit Psychonauts.)”
“It’s a strange complaint to begin a review with, but why oh why do character creators never include an option for sideburns? Mass Effect has the most fully featured face creation tool we’ve seen since the Xbox 360′s last (western) RPG of note, Oblivion, but as usual you’re stuck with a limited range of base components. As a result, if you’re like me and like to spend hours trying to create a digital representation of yourself in any game which offers you the opportunity, you’ll still end up with something that could only charitably be claimed to look anything like you through half closed eyes full of Vaseline. It’s still better than the blandly handsome “John Shepard” that the game offers as the base starting character.
“Without a doubt, October held the most significant development in downloadable content yet, with Nintendo choosing to release titles previously un-released in North America on the Virtual Console. Although they’ve only taken small steps so far, releasing only a few titles, such moves bode well and we can keep hope alive that Nintendo will release other celebrated titles that never saw the light of day here.”
“It’s difficult for current releases to stand out in the face of overwhelming juggernaut that is the upcoming launch of Super Mario Galaxy, and one title likely to be forgotten is Capcom’s new original adventure title Zack and Wiki: Quest for Barbaros ‘ Treasure. Despite Capcom’s pedigree for quickly grasping new systems strengths and developing games that fit them (Resident Evil 4 on Wii is just one example) the lack of brand recognition could lead to many consumers missing out on an engaging, if occasionally frustrating, point-and-click adventure game that features a rewarding mix of puzzle and problem solving.”
“I can only guess that the reason that Rockstar Games so happily censored their own title for release is that, unlike the original Manhunt, the artistic intent behind Manhunt 2 just isn’t strong enough to justify it. If the original Manhunt attempted to be the video game equivalent of a George A. Romero film, with stomach churning violence and genuine social commentary, Manhunt 2′s aspirations are barely as high as a straight-to-video slasher film.”
“Despite its repetitive aspects, the title truly is a joy to play from beginning to end. Chibi-Robo: Park Patrol joins its predecessor by being one of its system’s best games: brilliantly realized, wonderfully playable and, now, critically acclaimed. Don’t let it be ignored by consumers.”
“Beyond Halo, there was one other story of interest this month: the US and Canadian dollar reaching parity. This was big news to some Halo 3 buyers, as it turns out that many gamers chose to shop on eBay (average Halo 3 price: $50) rather than in local stores (average Halo 3 price: $70) and I’ve noticed that by using similar tactics you can save big on points cards for the Wii and Xbox 360. If you choose to simply have the codes e-mailed to you (and save on shipping) 2000 Wii points or 1600 Microsoft points can regularly be had for less than $20. A worthwhile bargain, as it’s highly unlikely Microsoft or Nintendo are ever going to reduce prices.”
“There’s more to downloadable content than just the Wii, Xbox 360 and (much maligned) Playstation 3′s download services. Valve’s PC-based Steam system has already released many excellent and reasonably priced classic and original titles, including recently the brilliant turn-based strategy title X-COM: Terror From the Deep for only $4.95 US.”