Even with the (terrible) rumble pack included, Metroid Prime: Pinball is just such an incredible waste of money. Offhand, the legendarily tough Stu Campbell disagrees with me, and we have argued over how easy it is without any particular conclusion, but still: avoid this. I’d even recommend Pokemon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire for the GBA over it.
Skies of Arcadia was the only one it was really acceptable to genuinely like. However, I’m going to have to now stand up and admit it.
I preferred Grandia II.”
Rather a big revelation, that, and one which probably loses me a lot of respect from certain types of people. But as I explain in the review, I’ll take the rubbish story and an excellent battle system of Grandia II over the sheer tedium of Skies of Arcadia’s random battles any day.
(I did love the characterisation of Skies of Arcadia with all my heart, however.)
Although I didn’t like Grandia III that much, I still have a save of it on my PS2 memory card. I delete the saves of most games that I don’t ever plan on playing anymore as soon as I’m done with them, but for some reason I’ve kept this one. I guess I was fonder of this than I let on; then again, the 6/10 I gave it seems entirely fair.
The memory that this game has a gut-wrenchingly awful Japanese pop song as its intro reminds me that I didn’t spend anywhere near enough time slagging off the ridiculous theme song of Phantasy Star Universe in my recent review, too.
Ah yes; the review which sunk DC Studios’ Edinburgh operation. Yes, I personally was responsible for the redundancies of 29 Scottish people because I ripped into State of Emergency 2 so hard that no one bought it.
Frankly, if that were true, I’d be proud. State of Emergency 2 was some of the most soullessly trite, by-the-numbers guff I’ve ever had the misfortune to play.
An interesting aside: I actually lived for about 6 months in Glasgow with a guy who worked for DC Studios. To my memory, however, he quit long before I did this review. I actually checked the credits for his name; thankfully it wasn’t there!
You know, taking a look at this review, months later, I would probably say that I was perhaps a little bit too positive. Yes, the graphics are amazing and yes, I did enjoy the single player mode (other than the rubbish bosses) all the way to the end, but the multiplayer really was a let-down, and having completed it, I haven’t looked at it once. Or ever even thought of it; never mind fondly.
So, fun while it lasts but completely forgettable. Ah well. I have to say, though, I’d recommend Metroid: Zero Mission over this in a heartbeat.
*Edit, 6th February 2007: This review is quoted on Next-Gen.biz in the article “The Games People Buy”, by Colin Campbell.
Oh man! 2006 isn’t even nearly over yet! Is Chibi-Robo still the best game I’ve played this year?
Gosh, you know, it could be. I absolutely loved this game (if I was one to quibble with scores, of all things, I’d go back in time and tell myself off for not giving it a 9) and even if it’s not the best, it’s probably the most charming (not to mention the innovative use of sound.) Considering the Wii plays Gamecube games, they should really just re-release this and give it a second push; it’s fantastic, it really is, and the housework aspect will obviously suit all those new female gamers who’ll be getting a Wii, am I right lads? Etc.
Everyone has pretty much forgotten about Electroplankton by now, eh? Even with its absurdly delayed release in Europe. I still hang on to this title but I have no idea why; I guess I just think one day it’ll be worth something (despite being utterly worthless as a piece of software.) Well, that bit in parenthesis is possibly a bit harsh; it’s fun for about 10 minutes. And it entertains small children (until I take it off them because they’re being too rough with my precious Nintendo DS.)
As an aside, I do rather like the look of Electroplankton creator Toshio Iwai’s Tenori-on, even if I’m not convinced it’ll break the “10 minutes of fun” barrier either.
Through the other lens, which has dirt on it, the Mario series is a smelly rock of astronaut poop; an intellectual property long past its sell by date, which Nintendo would rather milk endlessly than face up to a desperate need for new ideas. Mario and chums shoehorn themselves into increasingly obscure genres in an attempt to remain relevant, with Mario now well acquainted with everything from soccer balls to baseball bats. With the only fat Italian-American that the average person wants to see swinging a baseball bat being Tony Soprano, the Mario series is increasingly redundant.”
I probably side with the latter view, when it comes down to it. Even if I do love most of the Mario games… Actually, having said that, Mario Hoops 3-on-3 is probably one of the worst games I’ve played in ages.
Anyway, this is a bright and cheery platformer with absolutely no challenge until the STUPID BASTARD HARD FINAL BOSS. It’s also made by Tose, and looks pretty much exactly the same as the Starfy games (and is probably quite similar in general, but I’ve never played them. I’m guessing.) If you want a Tose game on the DS I suggest you go for Dragon Quest: Rocket Slime, though.
Knowing the core elements of Resident Evil 4 were retained from the original title, I was terribly excited to get my hands on Resident Evil: Deadly Silence, the Nintendo DS remake of the 1996 PlayStation original. “Wicked!” I thought, before rapidly flipping shut a copy of Mean Machines I’d carelessly left open, “With all of the unique features of the DS to exploit, this remake of Resident Evil is going to be totally crucial!”.
At that point I made sure to put all of my old magazines back under my bed [with the others? - Ed].”
It’s quite amazing to think that the Gamecube remake of the original Resident Evil was four years old by this release. Frankly, it showed; I really didn’t think much of this port at all. I wouldn’t be averse to playing a new Resident Evil on the DS, though. Well… Maybe.
Not a job to be taken lightly, I imagine. Therefore I wonder why, if we’re taking the Castlevania series at face value, Dracula ends up with such wildly bizarre abodes. Is it simply the case that Dracula can’t help himself and has a nibble on each designer before they finish their grand vision? Or is it perhaps that Dracula, as an immortal symbol of pure evil, is stark raving bonkers and makes nothing but lunatic requests?
‘What I would like,’ Dracula would start with a coquettish grin, ‘Is for my dining room to be really high in the sky, probably in that huge unsupportable spire. And I’d like the only way to get there to be through a ruined chapel. Oh! And I’d like to make sure I could only get there if I was so hungry I was prepared to put some extra effort into my jumps.’
Imagined situation or not, fighting winged skeletons on the way to your grub is probably a better step to good health than inviting quack nutritionist Gillian McKeith round to poke through your poo. Yes, I imagine that Dracula’s average home having hundreds of rooms and only being navigable by forcing you to do more jumping than a night spent playing Dance Dance Revolution is how Dracula keeps his svelte figure.
That and his diet consisting mostly of blood.”
Matthew Williamson, editor of The Gamer’s Quarter, called this one of the best introductions to an article on Castlevania he’d ever read, and despite that being a pretty limited category, I’m still pleased with.
The Castlevania Double Pack This is one of the best value packages you can get for the GBA, by the way. Even Stuart Campbell likes Aria of Sorrow.
A version of Bust-A-Move on DS! What more can you say, really?
To be honest, I should have been a trifle harder on it. While it really is an okay version, it’s so completely lacking in any spark to make it worth returning to, and unlike many games, as soon as I put it down after finishing the review I never touched it again. There are far better versions of Bust-A-Move to waste your time with.
“Metroid Prime Pinball is a game that requires that you’re a bigger fan of the ‘Metroid Prime’ part of the title than you are of the ‘Pinball’ part. While fun can be had here, it’s from the mini-games and the experience rather than solid table designs – and that’s a cardinal sin in pinball.”
“Back in the distant heyday of the Dreamcast, we should probably have seen the trouble on the horizon. Despite featuring a great selection of titles in general, Sega’s underappreciated box of wonders featured a mere two RPGs that anyone deemed worth talking about; Sega Overworks’ Skies of Arcadia, and Game Arts’ Grandia II.
“There is one nice touch in State of Emergency 2. During the introduction to the game, the name of the publisher and then the name of the development studio roll by as neon signs in the generic future-o-city of the game’s environment. It’s subtle enough that you could almost miss it, and shows that at least during one stage of development, real attention was paid. Sadly, that’s the only nice touch in State of Emergency 2. By then we’ve already seen a prostitute touting her services and heard the first in a long line of tedious expletives thrown about like swearing is going out of fashion.”
“Metroid Prime: Hunters is not a life-changing experience (if you discount the coming years of physiotherapy on my arms) but it is an astoundingly competent first-person shooter. While the multiplayer mode is a flimsy experience unless you have friends you can rely on, the single-player mode offers a worthy adventure even for players who don’t ever expect to take the game online.”
“Chibi-Robo is, quite possibly, the best game I’ve played this year. While it’s not for everyone, those who are willing to look past what they could consider childish graphics, and an obsession with housework that’s nearly as strong as your mum’s, will find a title with as much heart as there is fun wrapped up into a four-inch-tall bundle. Chibi-Robo doesn’t deserve to be relegated to being a mere cult hit. Buy a new doorstop.”
“Now, I think there are probably a lot of readers who believe I am missing the point of Electroplankton; in particular by bemoaning the lack of game elements, or complaining that it’s not a useful enough music tool. But I’m not. I see Electroplankton for what it is: a mere toy.”
“Viewed through one lens of the great telescope of personal truth, the Mario series is the shining star of the games industry; a cherished intellectual property that Nintendo isn’t afraid to have fun with. As comfortable expanded and re-imagined in the joyful Mario & Luigi titles as it is as disposable family entertainment in Mario Party, the Mario series will always be a vital and magical part of gaming.
“Resident Evil 4 is an absolutely stonking game. In fact, it’s so good that I found myself rummaging through old magazines such as Zzap64! just to find words like ‘stonking’ to describe just how joyful it is. What makes this even more amazing is that Resident Evil 4 is a very subtle refinement of the Resident Evil series. The same slow, awkward movement, relentless waves of single-minded foes, and puzzles, evolved to include a new claustrophobic third-person camera and a glorious aiming system.
“Dracula’s interior designer.
“Ah, the Bust-A-Move series. Also known as Puzzle Bobble in Japan, or by Japanophiles who call Pro Evolution Soccer ‘Winning Eleven’, or something, the appearance of the series on the Nintendo DS was merely a matter of time, with the series having appeared on practically every system other than, um, the ZX81 or the Gizmondo. It’s likely that if you’ve ever played a videogame system, or maybe even just seen one from your car window while driving past a branch of Dixons, that you probably know all about the mechanics of playing Bust-A-Move.”