“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. This is absolutely our pick of the season as the film we could not care less to see. The original story by F. Scott Fitzgerald was, if anything, a literary exercise more than a narrative, and while you can normally expand a science fiction short story into something (just add explosions!), forcing a tragic story of lost love onto this just strikes us as insincere, especially when it includes one of the most insincere actors we can think of (the awful Cate Blanchett, who may as well play every role wearing a sandwich board that says ‘LOOK AT HOW WELL I AM ACTING’).”

I despise Cate Blanchett; people are usually quick to jump to her defence, and I know why, but I still think they’re suckers.